I’m a procrastinator and find that whenever I’m having a bit of a rough time with my main project I start daydreaming about another. That’s what happened this week and I lost at least two writing days to it. It’s just the start of a concept really and it might not go anywhere, but here’s the first bit of intro.

Jareth was a weird kid, poofy hair, outlandish clothes, and ugly friends, but what would you expect from the prince of goblins?

That’s the first line from my unauthorized biography. He called me weird kid in the first breath, can you believe that? The worst part is that it’s the nicest thing the book has to say. I mean, look at this line,

Even from a young age Jareth spent most of his free time playing with glass balls and daydreaming.

Tell me who doesn’t daydream at that age, and those balls? First off, they’re crystal, and secondly, that’s some seriously powerful magic. I was putting my daydreams into those things. You could literally go into one and be there. I’d love to see anyone else try that. Every detail of my life is wrong, pretty much fabricated, which is bad enough, but he even recounted the whole Sarah affair from her twisted version of events. He obviously didn’t do a single minute of research.

I have to admit, I was pretty excited about the prospects of having an unofficial biography released. Perhaps it could have been a return to Jareth the powerful, Jareth the feared, and so on. Nope, as if my fortunes haven’t fallen far enough, no thanks to Sarah, it makes me look like a vindictive jerk. It’s left me no choice but to write my own biography, not that I have time. As you can imagine, being the Goblin King is a lot of work. Constant squabbling, the highest murder rate in the middle kingdoms, and don’t even get me started on the trash problem. Perhaps it would be a little more tolerable if I still had the old palace. Lost that in the divorce too.

Before I say anything else on the topic on my life, I want to get one thing straight. I don’t go after kids. In Sarah’s current version of events, she made it sound as if I took advantage of some sixteen year old girl. That’s absolutely untrue. Doing any research at all would clearly show that she was twenty when we met, and sure were were a little on the outside of the dating formula range, but not illegally so. Now that’s off my chest, I want to start at the beginning, the real beginning of my story.

There it is. The start of the story of the Goblin King told from the perspective of Jareth. May never see the light of day, but it’s a fun distraction.