Category Archives: writing

by

Prologue – War of Shadows

When I first started this blog, my original intent was not to post big excerpts of my story. Really, I was just looking for a place to talk about problems, approach and my experiences as an aspiring writer. However, after doing this for a short while, it occurred to me that perhaps it would be worthwhile to share a tad-bit of my story – As context for what I’m up to. So, here is my moderately polished prologue to the the book I’m calling War of Shadows. I am going to avoid putting much more of the actual text of my story on line in future, though I will continue to post in-world stuff like languages and maps. The excerpt below is about 1000 words. Enjoy, and let me know what you think – even if you think it stinks.

Notes in pronunciation: The eo you see in the names are pronounced as in Beowulf, and the dh in the names is a voiced th – pronounced the same as the th in the word this.

  

Prologue

“It would seem the enemy has been defeated utterly. Yet, in my bones I feel this war is not over. The price already has become too much to bear. It will be upon the shoulders of another to finish what has started here.” – Tolbara Runë

  Aldredh rested one hand on the hilt of his sword, the other tight around the reins, and shifted in his saddle. The air was crisp for an early summer morning. He exhaled, expecting to see his breath. With a side-long glance, he eyed his father off to his left. A tall, stern man with thinning gray hair, he sat in the saddle as if nothing in the world could possibly harm him. A brass broach, in the shape of a diamond ash leaf, fastening his traveling cloak, glinted unexpectedly in a ray of sunlight which had broken through the canopy of stunted, tangled trees. It made Aldredh turn his whole head toward his father.
  “You seem jumpy this morning,” his father said, his voice low and steady.
  “We’re too close to the Ghost Road,” Aldredh replied.
  His father shrugged. “Makes no difference. Someone out here is causing trouble, and it’s our responsibility to take care of it.”
  With an anxious sigh, Aldredh looked over his shoulder at the group of two dozen men following them. Each of them looked quite as nervous as he felt. Some even had their swords drawn, their full attention on the surrounding forest. A flutter of motion in the brush to his right caught his attention. When he turned to see what it was, there were only shadows. Bird, he thought.
  “If you ever expect to lead, you must show far more confidence,” Aldredh’s father said.
  “I’d feel a lot more confident if I knew what we were up against,” Aldredh replied.
  “When you become lord, you will need to take each threat as little more than a routine inconvenience, regardless of the danger you face. Today though, we seek men no different than you and I.”
  Aldredh raised an eyebrow. “How do you know that?” He asked.
  His father nodded down the road. A cloaked and hooded man stepped out of the forest into the knee-deep grass to face them. Aldredh hauled back on the reins to stop the horse and pulled his sword from its sheath. His father, however, calmly halted his mount, and did not reach for his sword.
  “Who is he?” Aldredh asked in a low hiss.
  Before his father answered, the man in the middle of the road ahead flipped back his hood. Aldredh’s mouth fell open. He recognized the pale face, which looked all the more weaselly under scraggly bits of facial hair.
  “Lord Feorun?” Aldredh asked.
  “Aldredh, so nice of you to join your father on this errand,” Lord Feorun said, his eyes fixed on Aldredh’s sword. “You have saved me some trouble.”
  “I think not,” Lord Togredh said. “It’s time we end this.”
  “I suppose you’re going to challenge me to a duel?” Lord Feorun asked with a smile. “Well, get on with it then.”
  Lord Togredh dismounted in a whirl of cloak. He strode confidently toward Lord Feorun. Aldredh glanced back at the men, all bore expressions of uncertainty and concern. Not more than ten paces from Lord Feorun, Lord Togredh unsheathed his sword.
  “Is that your sword?” Lord Feorun asked nodding at the blade with some disdain. “I’ve seen dirt farmers with better.”
  “It’ll take your head off just fine.”
  “I don’t think it will.”
  Feorun shook his head, still smiling, and took a few steps back as if he was going to make a run for it. Aldredh knew him as a man who never backed down from a fight.
  “Ambush!” Aldredh shouted, raising his sword.
  It was too late. The quiet, overgrown road was flooded with screaming soldiers. One of them emerged from the brush just to Aldredh’s right and rammed a long pike into his horse. It reared up and tossed him off. He hit the ground hard enough to knock the air from his lungs. His sword thudded to the dirt next to him. Gasping for breath, he flailed uselessly to try and reclaim his sword. The pike-man approached, his weapon raised high in the air. A sick grin spread across his face as he prepared to sink the pike into Aldredh’s chest.
  “Do not kill him just yet,” Lord Feorun called from up the road.
  The order drew the attention of the soldier. It was just a moment, but long enough for Aldredh to gain his wits. He seized hold of the hilt of his sword and immediately swung it at his attacker’s legs. The blade connected with flesh and then dug into bone, dropping the soldier to the ground, screaming in agony. Still struggling for each breath, Aldredh rolled over and managed to get to his hands and knees.
  “You won’t survive,” Lord Feorun said from just above him.
  Aldredh tried to bring his sword up, but Lord Feorun’s boot slammed down on the blade, pinning it to the ground. His hand still tightly clenched around the hilt of his sword, he waited for the lord to drive cold steel into his back.
  “Get it over with already,” Aldredh said.
  A strong hand grabbed Aldredh by the collar of his cloak, pulling him to his feet and causing his sword to be ripped from his hand. Aldredh looked Lord Feorun in the eye as the hand let him go.
  Lord Feorun took a step toward Aldredh so he was only inches from his face and said, “I am not going to kill you.”
  Aldredh’s heart was pounding, but his breathing had begun to return to normal. He looked around at a bleak scene. His men were dying all around and his father lay in a pool of blood not far away.
  “Going to have someone else do it then?” Aldredh asked.
  Lord Feorun smiled and slapped him on the shoulder. “What I have in mind for you is far worse than death.”
  With strength and speed that even surprised himself, Aldredh grabbed Lord Feorun’s arm and swung him around into the man standing behind him. It wasn’t much of an opening, but it was the best he could manage. He ran as hard as he could into the deep shadows of the forest without looking back, awaiting the arrow or cold steel that surely would come, but none did.

by

Writer’s improvement hell

Screw you spell-check! I mean it. I’m a terrible speller, and it’s all your damn fault. I also blame you for my awful grammar. Okay, neither are so bad, but they really could be a lot better (insert angry spitting and what not)! I blame part of the problem on really bad habits developed by relying heavily on grammar and spell-checkers to notify me of problems then offer helpful suggestions along with an immediate remedy (right-click replace). The habit formed over a number of years, starting with college term papers, and now infiltrates my e-mails, memos, project plans, and also my creative writing.

So, why’s it a problem? I mean, those tools are there to help right? Yes, that is the claim. The first (minor) problem is that when I really get into a scene, I mean I’m really into it, I’m seeing the scene, not so much the words (I am conscious of things like word choice but I’m not really seeing those words. I can’t explain how this works, except to say it’s a lot like day dreaming in rush hour traffic – I get there, but haven’t got the foggiest how), and so I’m also not really paying attention to those nice little squiggles beneath my misspelled and out of place words. This is exacerbated by the fact that I’m writing a fantasy and a very large number of names aren’t in the correction database, so the writing is already full of squiggles (yes, I know this is an easy fix, and I should do it, but I’m reluctant all the same) That’s fine, I suppose, I’ll just catch it on the next read through, which will occur as soon as I’m finished with the scene or whatever. Yeah, I suppose that works, when I’m paying enough attention on the second, third and fourth run-throughs.

The real problem is that relying on those auto-tools not making me a better writer. I think my story is suffering for various and sundry mistakes that I’m unconsciously expecting to be noted or even corrected for me. Sure we all make them, and I do try to focus on improving those habits, but the damn bad habits are now so ingrained it’s like pulling teeth to focus on getting it right.

My solution? I don’t have one for my grammar issues yet, still working that out. Possibly fixing the exact same problem about sixteen thousand times will get me there (I wish this were a joke 😦 ). Spelling though, that one is simple. Instead of using the right-click replace trick we’re all so fond of, instead, I’m checking the spelling with that tool, and making the corrections by hand. That, I think, should help me learn to spell more words correctly the first time, naturally, and will help me to work toward being a better writer.

Also, to come clean on this a little. This idea came out of technical necessity, rather than just having a good idea. I run Ubuntu Linux instead of Windows, and though I long for a Mac, it’ll have to wait. As a result, many of my applications aren’t quite as well tested as other platforms, so when writing a blog post, for instance, I can’t highlight and replace text. It locks up the keyboard and I have to re-start the browser. So, all of my spell-checking has to be done manually (right-click replace causes the lock-up as well). When I started doing this, I realized that it was a good way to actually re-learn how to spell words.

by

Progress report

Last week sometime (the week before maybe? I don’t remember) I made the decision to insert a chapter into a section I had previously called done (well, not done, but solid draft anyhow). Being a holiday week, I spent a lot of time with family and friends, and so had written off any progress being made until safely after the holidays. However, and in spite of my belly-aching about big stretches of upcoming re-writing, I finished the first (super-rough) draft of the new chapter last night. It’s a short one, coming in at about 3500 words, but it’s there, and I can work with it. Yay! This puts me at about 68K words drafted. Some of it needs significant re-writing, all of it needs lots of polishing and I will need to cut a few bits here and there totaling maybe a chapter’s worth, but it still feels like progress! My plan is for somewhere between 3 and 5 chapters left to draft up, but they’re all mostly mapped out. I think I have one plot-gap that needs some serious thought, and could prove to be a sticking point, but everything else is set up so that whatever the case, I should have plenty to work with in filling it in. I’m aiming at 80-100 words for this story, and it looks like I’ll probably hit that target. Anyhow, so progress is being made, and it feels good.